I have recently been accused of talking about myself too much. I don’t disagree that I talk about myself a lot. Because I do. However, is it too much? I don’t think so-I have a lot of life and love and wisdom to offer and unfortunately for all of you ‘too much-ers’ out there, it comes from my life experiences. All of that leads me to wonder am I too much? I absolutely am too much. I talk too much. I feel too much. I live too much. I don’t sleep too much. Oh, and I have I mentioned that I work too much? And do you want to know something? That is not my problem. In fact, it’s not any kind of problem at all. I’m always on the self awareness train and there are a lot things that I want to improve about myself, but being any kind of ‘too much’ isn’t one of them.
All of the above also leads me to being called intimidating. Personally, I get intimidated by people all of the time and it’s always by people who I don’t see as my equal because I feel inadequate compared to them. If I intimidate someone, again, that’s not my problem. Women are taught to be quite, soft, gentle, agreeable, and all of the other ‘pleasant’ adjectives in both literal and metaphorical ways. When a women is assertive or opinionated, she is seen as abrasive and dismissive. I spent nearly my entire life stifling my personality because I thought I was supposed to. I wanted to be everything a woman ‘should’ be, which unfortunately for women these days, is literally everything: Full hair and makeup, but still sweat your ass off at the gym. Have a career, but be a homemaker and house wife and pop out some babies. Manicure those fingernails, but don’t be afraid to get dirty. We can’t win no matter what we do, so why apologize for it? With that being said, I’m still trying to do almost all of those things because I actually enjoy a lot of it (haha lol).
Society knows about the Alpha Male, but I’m bringing the Alpha Female to the forefront. Does this mean I’m one of ‘those’ women? The kind that doesn’t shave or wear a bra? Uh…no. I enjoy being feminine and appreciate that women are beautiful in ways only women can be. Women need men in so many ways and men need women all the same. However, I’m not going to conform to what anyone thinks a woman ‘should’ be because I have more important things to worry about. My time is valuable. I’m in the business of success and I don’t deal well (actually I just don’t) with anyone who wants to judge me because I don’t fit the mold and try to use that as an actual argument instead of any kind of work presented (that happens, believe it or not). Feel free to comment on this because I think it’s an important conversation that needs to be had.
The last two years have shown me that I’m far different that the quiet girl I was growing up. I’m making moves in my career and getting rewarded for it. My network of people with whom I communicate regularly is night and day compared to where it was. Opportunities are knocking and I promise you that my manicure and sewing capabilities had nothing to do with it. I know the terms ‘boss lady’ and ‘ girl boss’ have become all the rage, but I use those to describe myself frequently and so do a lot of people who know me well. I’m a force to be reckoned with and I quite frankly don’t want to spend my energy on anyone who doesn’t respect that. I’m not perfect by any means, but I’m doing something right-I’m sure of at least that much.
In conclusion, my current theme song is ‘Nice for What’ by Drake. Give it a listen and watch the video that goes a long with it. If you hang around me long enough, you will start learning what it means to be an Alpha Female because it’s probably not what you think it is. Lesson One is how you treat yourself and the words you use to describe yourself. Be careful though, because the follow through is what really matters here. Talk is cheap and results pay the bills.
XOXO
E
The Porcelain Pineapple 